


Vacation Time With the Hargreeves

by Alex_Wolfstar



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Diego Hargreeves, F/M, Fluff and Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I don't know, I suck at humor, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, This Is STUPID, What Was I Thinking?, kliego - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:14:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25958080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_Wolfstar/pseuds/Alex_Wolfstar
Summary: Vacation Time With the Hargreeves, what could possibly go wrong?OrKlaus wins a vacation for two, but decides to bring the entire Hargreeves gang along.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 24
Kudos: 118





	1. Sunday Morning’s Funeral Car Vibes

**Author's Note:**

> I made up that Green Bay Resort place. 
> 
> This is AU, both apocalypses were stopped and kinda played out, just not the way they happened in the show. They are not crucial to this story. Lila was killed and Diego never actually cared. And Eudora… I’m not sure yet. The main pairing of this will be Diego and Klaus with Allison and Luther as a side pair. While Five and Vanya will have more of a BFFs/parent relationship. And then there is Ben with a huge crush on a certain male ghost. 
> 
> SORRY FOR TYPOS AND CRAPPY ENGLISH. 
> 
> Thanks for giving this a try. 
> 
> Much love

“GOOD MORNING, AMERICA!!!” Klaus was woken up by the yelling of some random radio host. He jumped out of his bed thinking someone is trying to kill them once again. He panicky looked around the room, but there was no one here besides smirking Ben.

“You little shit!!!” Klaus yelled at him and Ben just kept smirking. “Why’d you do that?” Ben shrugged his shoulders and Klaus sighed, he can’t actually stay mad at him for longer than few seconds. “IT’S SIX AM?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!” Klaus yelled as he saw the time and Ben started laughing pointing at something behind him. Klaus turned around and saw some random rather grumpy looking ghost. “WHAT!?” He spat in anger and the ghost opened his mouth, but nothing came out. “SHOO!!!” Klaus tried to shoo the ghost away with his hands. “Ben!!!” He yelled, but Ben was still sitting on the chair laughing his ass off. “SHOO!!!” Klaus yelled in desperation at the ghost who was speaking without the sound. “Are you on mute or something?” Klaus asked in annoyance as the ghost hasn’t done anything but mouth opening. “YOU. KNOW. I. TALK. TO GHOSTS. NOT. READ. LIPS.” Klaus said word by word carefully shaping each and every word in hopes of him understanding, but the ghost kept on doing what it was doing. Klaus rolled his eyes and decided to ignore it. “This is a new one.” He mumbled to himself.

“Maybe you could learn sign language?” Ben said in a mocking fashion and Klaus flipped him off.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Ben shrugged his shoulders and started singing along the radio with a smirk on his face. The ghost rolled his eyes and Ben’s smile only grew bigger. It’s playing Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! at the moment. Klaus sat on his bed and pulled on his hair in pure frustration. He looked up as there was a knock on the door and saw that the mute ghost was standing in front of him his mouth still moving. “NO SOUND!” Klaus yelled as he walked through the ghost and opened the door. Five stood there looking angry.

“What’s with the yelling? It’s Sunday and it’s 6 am!” Five growled and Klaus glanced around the room.

“Figured, I should start my day bright and early and loud noises are the only thing that will keep me awake.” To that Five scoffed and turned on his hill getting back to bed. Klaus closed the door and pointed at Ben in anger.

“Shithead.” He said followed by the hiss.

“Dumbass.”

“After this absolute masterpiece to get you, folks, up and moving on this fine Sunday morning of June 28th of 2020, we will continue our show with the morning question. If you could be a type of a car which one would you be and why. Be creative. Call us, message us, or post your answer on our social media. We will read your answers throughout the morning.” The host said and Klaus growled. “I’d be I think a nice black BMW M6 because in my soul I am an old-timer. What about you Jim?” Klaus growled trying to ignore the radio.

“I’d be a fucking funeral car because then I could kill and immediately drive the corpse to the cemetery! I’d start off with my dear brother, yes he is dead, but I will find a way to resurrect him only so I could kill him myself.” Klaus hissed at the radio that he knew wouldn’t turn off until Ben decides so. 

“Fuck you!” Ben yelled turning the volume up. “How do you like that?”

“Do you want to wake up the entire street?” Ben smirked to that and shook his head.

“You are the only one who hears the radio.” Klaus growled in frustration.

“What do you want from me?!” He asked in a desperate voice and Ben only smirked.

“For you to sober up so I can talk to someone other than you or the annoying ghosts that pop up randomly since you don’t have any control over your power.” Klaus gave him a nasty look as he stood up from his bed flipping him off in the process.

“What about the fun Bob over there?” Klaus asked pointing at that random ghost. Ben was actually surprised that Klaus doesn’t know who it is.

“TELL HIM TO LET ME GO!!!” The ghost yelled at Ben who just smirked.

“Beats me. Maybe you’d know…” He shrugged his shoulders staring at the ghost with an evil look,

“Maybe I need to get more shitfaced, for those idiots to leave.” Klaus said to himself ignoring Ben and that stupid ghost.

“Or maybe, I don’t know, try sobering up for once in your life and see how that one goes, since obviously, getting drunk and high has done absolutely nothing.”

“OR MAYBE LET HIM HEAR ME!!!” The ghost yelled at Ben, but Ben decided to ignore him.

“Or maybe, you go through the damn light, like every other ghost.” Ben rolled his eyes and put the radio’s volume on max. Klaus growled in agony as the radio host read the news, he was wondering how much news you can get at 6:30 am on Sunday. The world hasn’t even woken up yet, the only ones who are awake are psychos and religious people. But, if you think about it, there isn’t much of a di…

“Those were the morning news. Before we go to Jim for traffic just a quick reminder that after traffic get your phones in your hands and start dialing 555-3104558 for our Sunday morning show and get a chance to win a vacation for you and your better half. More info after the traffic. Now to you, Jim.” The host announced and Klaus stopped dead on his tracks. Maybe a vacation is what he needs. Ben gave him a weird look.

“The radio… Is it current and accurate airing?” Ben gave him a very confused look. “Well?! Is it? Answer me!!!” Klaus yelled at him as he grabbed his phone.

“Yeah… He pretty much gave you the date like 15 minutes ago.” Ben said in confusion. “What are you…” Klaus raised his hand up in the air as a sign for him to shut up.

"The traffic is nice this morning. No stops, no accidents, just a beautiful calm Sunday morning." No traffic reports, to conclude." Jim laughed sounding uncomfortable, but Klaus couldn't care any less.

“That was the traffic folks. And now we are getting closer and closer to our show.” The host sounded excited and then the commercial came.

“Sunday morning with Berry Simons and his popular show that would be even more popular if it wasn’t so early in the morning. We gathered our most creative minds and came up with this wonderful name: The Sunday morning show with Berry Simons: Answer correctly 5 pub quiz questions in the category of your choosing and win a 2 weeks vacation for yourself and your better half. We tried shortening the name but we didn’t know how.” The ad was over. Ever since he heard the number, Klaus was dialing like a crazy person. He really wants that vacation.


	2. Licensed to Murder Berry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your support.  
> I hope you will like this one.
> 
> Much love
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Here we have a lucky person on the line. Good morning.” Berry said and Ben rolled his eyes.

“You aren’t lucky enough…” Ben said and Klaus smirked.

“Yes good morning Berry. Morning Jim.” Klaus said and Ben raised his hands up in the air thinking that Klaus is making this shit up.

“May I get your name, sir?” Berry said.

“Klaus.”

“Well, mister Klaus, do you feel lucky this fine Sunday morning?” Ben gasped as it turned out Klaus did get through.

“You could say so, I mean I did get through.” Berry let out that fake and very annoying I-am-not-paid-enough-for-this-shit-but-I-will-still-giggle-at-what-that-idiot-said kinda laugh.

“Right. You know the rules?” Klaus hummed, because what other rules there could be when everything was said in that stupid ad. “Wonderful. Pick one of the four categories: music, movies, sport or food and drink.”

“Music, take music!!!” Ben said in excitement and Klaus, without thinking twice picked music.

“Our most popular category. Well, good luck.”

“Thank you.” Klaus said while Ben was trying to get closer to hear the questions.

“Question number one: I was released on August 17th of 1988 as their debut album's third single. I have four siblings, but I am the sweetest child amongst us. One of my siblings is the easy one, one’s as wild as the jungle, one is as dreamy as the paradise and the last one is as cheap as the Californian Night Train Express.

Name the song, the artist, and the album it comes from. You have roughly 1 minute and you can only have one try.” Klaus started repeating the words

“1988, debut album, one of the five singles. Sweet one…”He mumbled trying to remember.

“No, no, the sweetest child, wild as the jungle, dreamy as the paradise, easy one and cheap as Californian train or something.” Ben said and Klaus hummed.

“Wait… Sweet child, paradise, easy, jungle, and Californian Night Train Express… Ugghhhh… I know this one… The ginger dude with a baby face... Allison used to be crazy over him…” Ben made an “o” face.

“Yes, yes…ummm… something with guns…” Ben said and Klaus smirked in victory.

“And roses.” Klaus mumbled.

“So we have a band.” Klaus shook his head with a smile.

“I have it!!!” Klaus yelled in excitement. “Sweet Child of Mine by Guns 'n Roses from the album Appetite for Destruction.”

“Well Klaus, I am happy to say that not only this is correct, but it was one of the fastest answers we’ve ever got. I just hope you aren’t cheating.”

“I play by the rules, Berry.” Klaus said making Ben scoff. “Do you want to go on vacation?” He mouthed to Ben, as a response Ben eagerly nodded with his head. “Then stop it.” Klaus mouthed and Ben like a three-year-old stuck out his tongue at Klaus.

“Off to the second question. Oh, this is a tricky one.” Klaus and Ben took a deep breath. “Besides her dashing music, her rocky love life is an immensely popular theme in media. Her latest quite magical album came out this year. Having sold over 50 million albums and 150 million singles worldwide, she is one of the best-selling music artists of all time. She is the most-awarded act and woman at the American Music Awards and Billboard Music Awards.” Klaus and Ben listened closely, trying to remember as many details as possible. “Who is she?”

“HA!!! EASY!!!” Ben yelled earning a surprised and quite judgmental look from Ben. “Taylor Swift.” Klaus gave him the look that said how in the fucking world do you know that. “Just give him the answer.” Ben said in annoyance and Klaus growled.

“If you are lying…” Klaus mumbled with a sigh. “I think it’s Taylor Swift.” Klaus said sounding a bit unsure.

“Are you sure? You don’t sound so sure.” Berry said and Ben rolled his eyes.

“It’s her. Get this over with, please!!!” Ben yelled impatiently.

“I am sure. Taylor Swift is my final answer.” The silence followed.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake!!! Stop stalling!!” Ben yelled in frustration.

“Taylor Swift it is. You are on fire, sir!!!” The host sounded not as happy as he is supposed to be, and both Ben and Klaus squawked in happiness. “3 more to go.”

“Hit it, man!!!” Klaus said feeling hyped.

“Off we go to number three: The music video highlights some of the main cultural and folkloric symbols of Puerto Rico by showing its splendid beaches, the colorful landscape of La Perla, the rattle of the Puerto Rican cuatro and the barrels of the autochthonous genre of bomba, Zuleyka Rivera's hips movement and a pair of men enjoying a game of dominoes.

Name the song and the artist. ” All Klaus heard was Puerto Rico and started laughing remembering when that random lady thought Diego was Puerto Rican and how he lost his shit and ended up beating up a garbage bin and in the process, he managed to break his foot.

“Focus you, idiot!!!” Ben hissed and Klaus shook his head. “We need this vacation. Now… Think Puerto Rico and music video.” Klaus tried his best to think about it, but all he could really think about is Diego and his broken foot. Ben growled in frustration because Klaus is a lost case now. So he started thinking about the question. “Ask him if the song is in Spanish.” Ben growled while Klaus was still giggling.

“You have about 30 seconds left.” Berry said and Ben screamed. He then decided to think about songs he heard that are in Spanish. All he could think of is Bailando and Despacito. And he was pretty sure one of those is definitely Spanish and not Puerto Rican.

“I have nothing. The only two songs I could think of is Bailando and Despacito. You take a pick.” Ben said pouting because they are definitely not going on that vacation. Klaus gave him a weird look. “Don’t give me that look. At least I came up with something.”

“Yeah Despacito…” Klaus forgot he was not supposed to talk to Ben.

“You dumbshit, you’ve said it out loud!!!” Ben yelled and was ready to leave.

“And Despacito it is. Well done.” The host said and Ben stopped on his tracks not believing their luck.

“I’ve had no idea we have luck on our side…” Ben mumbled.

“Two more to go. I can’t not notice that you’ve got stuck a bit here.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve got me with that one. I’m not much of a music video guy.” Klaus said thanking all the ghosts for the sudden luck.

“I have to notice, you aren’t much of a talker, either.” Klaus rolled his eyes.

“I don’t talk when I’m concentrating.” He simply said feeling awkward. The host sighed.

“Round four.” The host said. “You ready?” Klaus hummed as Ben leaned as close as possible. “In 2013 Rolling Stones magazine placed this album on the first place of their 100 Best Debut Albums of All-Time list. This album that came out in 1986 created a new way for middle America to rock – with thundering combination of hip-hop beats and metal riffs. It is hip-hop's first Number One album, and one of the best-selling rap albums of all time.” Both Klaus and Ben shared a look because none of them ever listened to a hip hop nor they know anyone who listens to hip hop. “Name the album and the artist.” Klaus scoffed and Ben gave him a defeated look.

“We’ll have to google it.” Klaus mouthed to Ben and Ben scoffed.

“What about your I play by the rules thing?” He said mockingly.

“Drop dead.” Klaus hissed at him and put the radio host on speaker.

“Since obviously our caller still refuses to talk out loud and share his thinking process how about another joke?” Both Ben and Klaus shared a look since they haven’t even paid attention to what the guy was saying for all they knew, he could have been dropping hints this whole time.

“Just google the list.” Klaus scoffed since the page was already loading. “Quickly!!!” Ben hissed impatiently and Klaus rolled his eyes because it’s not like he can speed up the internet. “AND?!” Klaus frantically scrolled down the never-ending list of best debut albums. “You do realize you have a menu at the top of the screen that provides you with a link to the top ten?” Klaus flipped him off as he finally came to the number one. And then he gasped. He showed the phone to Ben. “Licensed to ill or Licensed to 3?” Klaus knew as much as Ben did. “Google the album!!!” Ben ordered him and Klaus did exactly that. From what he could pick up from a quick scanning it must be the ill one.

“I’m going with Licensed to the ill by Beastie Boys.” Klaus said with his eyes closed hoping for the answer to be correct. And that stupid host was stalling again.

“The correct answer is…” 

“If he won’t tell us in five seconds time, I am possessing you and we are murdering him!!!” Ben yelled sounding worse than Klaus when he was craving drugs.


	3. Dumb and Dumber Strike Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all your support, it means the world to me. 
> 
> I should address the fact that sometimes in the next 2 weeks or so my fall exams will begin wich means I will have to stop with this and start studying.   
> As for the updates I will try to post a chapter per week or more considering their lengths, my inspiration, and the amount of free time that I will have.  
> I will try to finish the entire book by October when my uni year will begin, so I'll only have to update, but... So far I don't even have half of it, because I am stuck a bit. Plus, I am still deciding which way I should go with one segment of the story. 
> 
> Anyways,   
> thanks again 
> 
> Much love 
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That is correct. Congratulations.” Klaus and Ben shared a look of relief as the host said those words. “One question to go. How are we feeling?”

“Somewhere between stressed and happy.” Klaus answered, uneasily since he is sure the dude doesn’t like him all that much, and he probably has a schedule so he needs him longer on the air.

“That’s…Interesting…” He sounded very weirded out which made Klaus scoff.

“Tell him to piss off!” Ben yelled in agony and Klaus gave him a nasty look for yelling in his ear.

“Who are you bringing along if you win? And before you answer, remember this is a romantic type of a vacation.” Klaus smirked as an idea popped into his mind.

“Partner.”

“Partner?” Berry asked confused.

“Boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Fiance.”

“Fiance?”

“Now husband.” It was like the strangest game of tennis. Going back and forth and Ben only watched in anticipation wanting for this agony to just end.

"That was an interesting way of delivering the news." Berry said sounding unsure of what to do.

“We are celebrating our first year of marriage next week.” Klaus said without bothering to address what he has said prior to that.

“Well, isn’t that lovely? Congratulations to the happy couple." Ben rolled his eyes when he saw Klaus's satisfied smirk. 

"You are an idiot, you know that, right?" Klaus hummed not listening to any words that Ben said.

"Are you ready for the final thing?” Klaus had to take a moment to mentally prepare for this. He is one question away from vacation.

“Shoot.” Klaus babbled out earning a confused look from Ben.

“This one is going to be a game of association. I will read you five things, each of those will give you a clue and those 5 clues together will form a term or a person or something related to music. You’ve got that?” Klaus tried to wrap his head around it, but Ben growl was enough for Klaus to say that he is ready. “I suggest you get yourself a pen and paper or something.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Okay…” The host said and Klaus took one deep breath. “Clue number one: God, save the…”

“QUEEN! GOD, SAVE THE QUEEN!!!” Ben yelled and Klaus rolled his eyes.

“More like God save us all.” Klaus mumbled earning a flip off from Ben. “Do I give you my answers now or do I simply just give you the final thing?”

“Write them down, and later you will give me the final thing.” Klaus nodded remembering the word queen. “Clue number two: Stone Town is its capital city.” Klaus had no idea where Stone Town is.

“Sounds European.” Ben mumbled, he himself not knowing the answer. “I bet it’s one of those ex-Soviet Union ones.” Klaus made a face as the shivers ran down his spine from remembering what Five had said about Soviets attacking the US and all that ‘60s shit.

“Clue number three if you are ready.” Klaus only hummed in response. “Red ribbon is a symbol of solidarity with people who have that disease.” Klaus started thinking about those ribbons and what each meant, but he could only remember that pink is for breast cancer.

“I think it has something to do with AIDS or something.” Ben said matter of fact. “If that is correct then we would have the Queen and AIDS, which has nothing to do witch music.” Ben mumbled to himself and Klaus nodded.

“Fourth clue: You grow it on your face.” 

“Beard.” Ben said it like Klaus is an idiot who can’t crack that one.

“And the final one: Its atomic number is 80.”

“Oh for fucks sake, we have nothing that makes sense!!!” Ben yelled in frustration.

“Those are your five clues. Good luck, you have 30 seconds to figure it out.”

“So all we know is Queen, beard and probably AIDS or something, which makes no logical sense to me. A capital of unknown what is sounds like a European country and an atomic number.” Klaus started panicking because he was really hyped about the whole vacation thing and now he is going to blow it. “Well google the atomic number or something!!!” Ben yelled at him.

“Of for fucks sake… It’s Freddie Mercury, you idiots. Stone Town- Zanzibar where Freddie was born, and it’s not European, it’s a moustache and not a beard, red ribbon is for AIDS, and Mercury’s atomic number is 80.” The soundless ghost suddenly said and both Ben and Klaus were too stressed out to acknowledge the whole situation properly. Ben was more dumbstruck by the fact that he would know that.

“And what is your final answer?” The host asked sounding mischievous.

“Freddie Mercury.” And then the silence followed. Klaus started biting his nails, Ben stared at the ghost with a strange expression on his face and the ghost glared at Klaus in pure anger.

“Let me go, you idiot!” The ghost yelled, but Klaus was too nervous to do anything.

“How did you come up with that answer?” The host asked and Ben screamed.

“TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF!!!” Ben yelled and Klaus giggled liking how edgy Ben is.

“The first clue and AIDS gave me an idea.” Klaus said with a smirk looking at Ben.

“Well… I hope you and your husband will have many happy anniversaries, but…” He made a dramatic stop again. “…I hope this one will be unforgettable because you have earned a trip to Green Bay Resort in Louisiana for you and your husband. Congratulations, Klaus.” As he heard those words, Ben grabbed the ghost and kissed him full on the mouth.

“You do realize that this resort is a swamp?” The ghost asked and Ben shrugged him off.

“I’m Ben by the way.” The ghost looked unimpressed and bored.

“And I’m uninterested.” The ghost said glaring at Klaus. Klaus waved with his hand and the ghost was gone.

“How did you…”

“Yes, thank you, Berry. Of course, my husband will be thrilled.” Klaus ignored Ben hoping to learn some details about the vacation he just won. But, Berry said they will send him a brochure and some papers he will have to read and fill in the information. “Have a lovely day, I know I will.” And with that Klaus hung up with the biggest smile Ben has ever seen.


	4. Shrek Time, Babyyyy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I have no idea how or why George Michael, but he happened.
> 
> Thank you for all your support  
> Much love
> 
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“First of all, that was George bloody Michael! And how did you get rid of him?”

“I won. I actually won something in life.” Klaus said at the edge of the tears because this is the first time he won something, well, he never tried to win anything besides hookups, but those don’t count. “WE ARE GOING ON A VACATION, BEN!!!”

“Oh, I’m not sure you will be happy when you find out what this place is.” Ben said with a sigh as he was actually looking forward to the vacation up until George broke the news, he doesn’t know why but he decided to trust him.

“If it doesn’t have drugs, it is okay with me.” Klaus said with a nod. “Or weapons.” Ben opened than closed his mouth. “Or people who are trying to kill us.” Ben rolled his eyes. “Or Five's ex co-workers or Diego's ex-girlfriend and her psycho mom…”

“I get it.” Klaus smiled as he saw that the mail with vacation details finally came. “Can we actually talk about you releasing that ghost with just a hand gesture?” Klaus waved his hand at him as a sign to shut up.

“Green Bay Resort, Louisiana, as its name indicates, is a magical green paradise for everyone who loves nature…” Ben growled in frustration because he really needs to talk about this sudden control over his powers.

“It’s a swamp, Klaus, you won a romantic vacation in a SWAMP.” Klaus opened than closed his mouth as he blankly stared at Ben.

“You liar. Is it because of the Charlie Chaplin ghost? I can get him back.” Ben scoffed.

“No, Klaus, the resort is an actual swamp. And I’ve told you it was George Michael.”

“You mean a beautiful green paradise at the foot of a lake. And who is George Michael?” Ben gasped at that because his brother is clearly a musical idiot.

“Forget the resort, for now, you seriously have no idea who George Michael is?” Klaus shook his head. “The singer from Wham! Every single idiot on this planet knows who he is.”

“Apparently not, you...Taylor Swift fan. Your taste in music is worrying by the way. And Van? What kind of a band name is Van? Are they pedophiles?” Ben gasped because Klaus is actually serious.

“It’s Wham! You moron. W-H-A-M. Wham! They have, what is probably the most famous Christmas song ever, besides Mariah’s All I Want For Christmas Is You.” Klaus gave him a questionable look.

“Because Christmas in our house came with listening to Christmas songs and putting up decorations and making Christmas cookies and all that gosh darn Christmas traditions.” Ben rolled his eyes.

“You moved out when you were 18. 11 years Klaus, you were on your own for 11 years.”

“And you were with me. So what’s with the surprise?” Ben gave him a sad look and shook his head.

“You’ve heard Last Christmas more times than you could count.”

“Last Christmas?” Ben growled in frustration because Klaus is a lost cause.

“Google the song.” Klaus shrugged it off, not giving half a shit about the song, instead he googled the pictures of the resort.

“About the resort… By the looks of it…”

“The resort is a literal swamp. I mean full on Shrek swamp…” Ben cut in. “While you keep looking at the astonishing pictures of Shrek’s home, how about you tell me what you did to George Michael.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve sent a ghost to the land of the dead. I bet he is now playing golf with Freddie Mercury and John Lennon or something.” He does have some basic music knowledge, just not a whole lot of it. Ben actually yanked the phone out of Klaus’s hands and both of them gasped. “You can’t tell me this was my doing.” Ben started at his hands in wonder and confusion.

“What if… Like… You getting stronger, means I am getting stronger too?” Klaus opened than closed his mouth wanting to make a sarcastic comment but decided against it when he saw the look on his face. Klaus gave him a warm smile.

“Okay, go over there and pick up that shirt.” Klaus pointed at the black shirt lying on the floor. “And while you are doing that, I will fill in the papers.” Ben walked to the other side of the room with anticipation.

“Which reminds me, who are you bringing? And remember you’ve said, husband.” Klaus scoffed to that. Ben banned over and tried to reach for the shirt, but his transparent hand went just through it. He tried again and again.

“You worry about that shirt, I will worry about this.” Klaus picked up his phone from the floor and started reading the information about the resort, maybe the information about it could help him out with picking his company. It has more than 200 cabins, each with only one bedroom with a king-sized bed, a bathroom with a jacuzzi, a spacious kitchen, and a cozy romantic living room with a fireplace. It has a spa center, a restaurant/bar, veracity of fun couple activities such as massages, something called "Couple on Couple" which to Klaus sounds way too erotic, a dance competition, a pairs volleyball tournament, a fishing tournament, a beauty salon, and much more stuff that Klaus couldn’t be bothered with. “I should have said wife.” He said out loud earning a confused look from Ben who didn’t even manage to touch the shirt let alone lift it up. “Vanya would love this.” And then an idea popped into his mind. “Well…” Ben stopped trying to pick up the shirt to give Klaus a worried look. “I fill in the papers for me and “my husband” and I make 5 more reservations.”

“You do realize this is a couple's resort. They probably don’t rent to singles.” Klaus scoffed and flipped him off. He and his stupid logic.

“Then, I will pair us up.”

“Oh, this is going to be a disaster. I can’t wait for you idiots to start another apocalypse.” Ben said sarcastically and Klaus scoffed.

“One: We are going on a vacation to a stress-free zone, and two: Be nicer or you will spend the entire two weeks locked in a closet.”

“Says the guy who was there for 20 years.”

“Drop dead.” Klaus simply said and Ben flipped him off.

“At least ask them before you make reservations.” Klaus started filling in the papers for him and his husband’s free vacation. He filled the entire thing and sent it back to the radio via e-mail as he was instructed. “Who are you bringing?” Klaus shrugged his shoulders. “Well, you had to put down a name.”

“And I did.” Klaus simply said as he went on the resort’s official website to make 2 more reservations.

“And?!” Ben yelled in frustration.

“Me and Diego…” Ben started laughing thinking Klaus is making this up. “I’m serious.”

“So, you have a death wish?” Klaus rolled his eyes at that.

“Luther wouldn’t do it, because of Allison, and Five is way too young.”

“And yet, I assume he is coming?” Ben cocked an eyebrow at him.

“If you have to know, judge Judy, I’ve paired him with Vanya, because next to her, he could pass for an 18-year-old.”

“Yeah, one that never went through puberty.” Klaus flipped him off.

“Everything’s gonna be a-okay.” Ben gave a sarcastic _of course_ as a response.

“Well, someone is killing you for sure.” Klaus shook his head his hair flying around in the air.

“How’s the shirt lifting?” Ben pouted as he was still nowhere. “Maybe if you concentrated more on that and less on this, you would be somewhere by now.” Ben sighed and tried again. “I’m taking a shower.” Klaus announced as he headed out of his room and to the bathroom, leaving frustrated Ben to deal with the shirt all by himself.


	5. A Homicidal Rage Type of a Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I planned to update on Wednesdays, but, I was like FUCK IT. Let's do it today.  
> I was supposed to have an exam today, but it was rescheduled to 22nd September, by the professor himself... 
> 
> ANYWAYS
> 
> I think this is by far my favorite chapter so far. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.  
> Thank you for all your support  
> Much love  
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All 6 of them were sitting around the kitchen table having breakfast or pretending to have breakfast while chugging down the third cup of coffee in the last half an hour. And Ben was there, levitating above the counter trying to lift a piece of paper that was lying there.

“I have some news.” Klaus suddenly said breaking the awful silence, but none of them showed any sign of hearing him or anything. “I won a vacation!” He yelled in excitement his hands spread wide and a huge smile spread across his face. “For two.” He added a bit silently and it was Allison who decided to give him an amused look.

“Are you trying to make us fight?!” Diego spat out unamused.

“No. I’ve made up my mind about who I am bringing.” Klaus said matter of fact and suddenly 5 pairs of curious and rather nervous eyes were pointed at his directions. “Diego!” He pointed at Diego and the rest of them sighed in relief while Diego looked like he is about to either puke or kill someone, but knowing him, he could probably do both.

“I’m ready to give up my entire inheritance if anyone wants to trade.” Klaus rolled his eyes.

“I’ve said I have a husband.” A roll of laughter followed that.

“Yeah, because you are a marriage material at its best.” Five said sarcastically gulping down his coffee.

“Well, Fiiiiiiiiiiiive… For your information, I’ve booked the cabins for the rest of you as well.” All of their jaws dropped wide open while Luther started chocking on his eggs. Diego jumped from his seat like his ass caught fire and started hysterically hitting Luther’s huge back. Allison started screaming like a crazy woman about Luther not dying or something, Vanya wanted to help but didn’t know what to do and Five just wanted to enjoy his damn coffee.

***Five minutes earlier***

Five’s mind was five minutes older now and he knew what will happen. He was getting better at the whole mind time travel and he was proud of himself. He took a sip of his coffee with a smug smile on his face.

“What’s with the face?” Diego, who was sitting next to him asked and Five shrugged him off.

Diego shook his head adding this to one of Five’s things. Man, that man-child was weird.

Diego’s plan for today was simple, try and find something to do, or better say some crime to fight, he was getting bored of this whole domestic life as Allison likes to call their current awfully boring state. She even had the audacity to suggest that each and every one of them could get a job. And what in the name would he do? A police job is out of the question, having been kicked out of the academy and all. A boxer or something? He shook his head because he is the best at being a hero and he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about people thinking that he has a serious hero complex problem.

“Diego…” He jerked his head up as he heard his name was spoken by none other than Klaus. He growled, because whatever it is, it isn’t anything good or normal, since it came from him.

“Oh… Luther… And well… Everyone else, I guess… Stop eating and-or drinking for what follows.” Five said earning very confused and concern looks from the rest of them.

“What? We manage to start another apocalypse?” Luther jokingly asked and Five scoffs.

“No, but you might die if you won’t stop stuffing your mouth with those eggs.” Five simply replied and Luther scoffed thinking Five is lecturing him again about his diet. “I’m actually serious.” Allison slapped the fork out of Luther’s hand and Five sighed in relief because now he will be able to enjoy his coffee without anyone trying to die.

“Umm… Guys…” Five sighed in frustration as he slowly turned his head to see why Klaus sounds so weird only to notice he has a butter knife sticking out of his chest.

“I swear I didn’t mean to actually hit him, the idiot dodged!” Diego yelled in pure panic as he jumped out of his seat to aid Klaus.

“YOU ACTUALLY THREW A KNIFE AT HIM!!!” Allison yelled in horror.

“Well… It isn’t the first time, he’s done it.” Klaus said jokingly.

“Here we go again…”Five said with a sigh.

***5 MINUTES EARLIER... AGAIN***

Five was there again, sitting in silence all of them well and unharmed. He looked around the table and noticed the butter knife. He casually took it and placed it in his jacket’s pocket.

“What’s with the knife?” Diego asked and Five shrugged him off. Five decided it would be best if he kept an eye on everyone at the table. He took a gulp of his coffee and observed.

Vanya is having a staring competition with her oatmeal, which Five never understood, why she eats the oatmeal if she hates it. Next to Vanya is Allison who is enjoying a cup of tea with some pancakes. Next to her is Luther who is stuffing his mouth with eggs, but Five doesn’t need to do anything about it just yet, next to him at the head of the table is Klaus who looks a bit twitchy. Opposite him and to Five’s left is Diego who is eating his smiley-faced pancakes, with a knife in his hand and Five gulped.

“I need that knife.” He said to Diego who gave him a weird look. And before he knows it, Five yanked the knife out of his hand.

“Diego…” Klaus said and that was Five’s clue.

“Just stop eating and drinking, everyone. The next bit is a little triggering, apparently.” They all stared at him.

“What? We manage to start another apocalypse?” Five rolled his eyes because he has that one already.

“No, but you might die if you won’t stop stuffing your mouth with those eggs.” Five simply replied in a very bored voice and Luther scoffed. “I’m actually serious.” Allison slapped the fork out of Luther’s hand and Five nodded. Luther's death avoided, AGAIN.

“Great, you are calling me fat!!” Luther yelled and Five rolled his eyes because this is not how it went the last time.

“You big baby! You are fat, you used to be ripped, but now you are fat. Fat, fat big baby!” Diego teased and both of them jumped off their seats ready to fight. Five, beyond annoyed, could feel something was wrong and he quickly looked around the room only to notice Vanya’s eyes are completely white.

“CAN’T I JUST ENJOY A BLOODY MORNING COFFEE WITHOUT ANYONE DYING OR TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!?” Five yelled in rage.

***AGAIN FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES EARLIER***

Five knew he needs to act fast this time. He grabbed the butter knife and the knife from Diego’s hand and showed them inside his pocket.

“What the hell!?” Diego growled and Five shrugged him off. In fact, he decided to clean the entire table, leaving only his mug on it. He did it in the blink of an eye, 5 pairs of angry looking eyes staring at him.

“Trust me on this one.” Five simply said as he sipped his coffee with a smile on his face, because now, hopefully, no one will die or try to kill each other.

“What? Do we start another apocalypse!?” Luther asked jokingly and Five rolled his eyes.

“Would it make you happier if I’ve said yes?” He asked at the edge of exploding from anger.

“Actually no. What do we do to Vanya!?” Five rolled his eyes and pointed at Klaus.

“He has something to tell you.” Klaus gave him a weird look.

“I’m not sure if I should.” Five rolled his eyes but narrowed his eyebrows as he noticed a piece of paper is levitating above Klaus’s head.

“KLAUS!!! KLAUS!!! I DID IT!!! I’M HOLDING SOMETHING!!!” Ben yelled from somewhere very close to Klaus. Klaus twitched in his seat and fell off of it, cracking his head open.

Five rolled his eyes.

"Here we go again!" He yelled in rage.

***Five fucking minutes ago***

Without taking any chances, Five cleared the entire table leaving only his mug on it.

“He has something to tell you, and yeah a ghost is holding a piece of paper above your head.” He said casually as he sipped his coffee. “Just… Try not to die or kill each other this time. I just want to enjoy my coffee. That’s all.” Klaus looked up and saw Ben standing behind him with a huge smile on his face.

“Klaus…” He said sounding like he is about to cry. “I am holding something.” Klaus gave him thumbs up uninterested because Five is having another one of his episodes.

“Actually, you know what… I will say it.” Klaus gave him a weird look. “He…” Five pointed at him. “Won a vacation for himself and his husband…” He stopped talking closely observing all of them. “Diego…” He pointed at Diego who jerked his head upwards.

“What?” Five shrugged him off.

“And booked us all a vacation. NOW!!! DON’T YOU DARE DYING!!!” Five yelled as he looked around the room in a panic. All of them gave him a weird look especially Diego. “Trust me, you died, well Klaus died twice, she was at the edge of who knows what and this one was choking on the eggs.”

“Explains a lot.” Luther said and Five gestured for Klaus to speak.

“If you trigger anyone else, I swear I will be the one who actually kills you and leaves you dead.” Klaus opened his mouth, but Five cut him off again. “Actually, on the second thought. Just tell us when, for how long, and where we are going. Keep the rest to yourself.” He was given the look by everyone again. “Trust me, those hopefully, won’t awake homicidal rage in anyone.” Five said hoping that what he was saying is the actual case.

“Tomorrow we are going on a two weeks vacation… to… erm… resort.” Five took a deep breath waiting for the chaos to start.

“A lake resort?” Luther asked in surprise.

“Yes, you idiot, what kind of resorts do you know? Of course, it’s a lake resort.” Diego cut in, and Klaus was about to say that there are technically other resorts, but Diego cut in again. “And husband? Can we talk about that??” Diego sounded almost panicky.

“Let’s just all calm down.” Five said earning a look from them again. “You need to stop being a drama queen, Diego. We are all going to the resort. You being his husband is just a minor detail.” Five said not once taking his eyes off Diego, because he doesn’t want to deal with another outburst. Strangely, Diego shrugged his shoulders and went completely silent. With a surprise clearly written on his face, Five looked around the table, just in case. He noticed Vanya is awfully silent again. He looked at her properly hoping he won’t see the apocalyptic ticking bomb, and he sighed in relief when he saw she is actually smiling.

“I think it will be wonderful. We should all go packing.” Vanya said sounding genially happy.

“Maybe we should finish our breakfast first?” Klaus said looking at Five for approval.

“This is the furthest we’ve gotten without anyone dying.”

“Does anyone have a homicidal rage inside them?” Luther asked and they all shared a look. “More intense than usual.” They all shook their heads.

“Then, we can have that breakfast now.” Five put everything back on the table and much to his reveal the entire breakfast went oh-so peacefully.


	6. A Knife to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go ppl :D
> 
> Thank you so so much for all your support, it means the absolute word to me
> 
> Couple more of those I'll call them "filter" chapters, to be precise 2 more chapters before they come to the resort, and that's when the fun will begin, by fun I mean Kliego 
> 
> Much love  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After breakfast, everyone went to their room to pack, the excitement clear in their every move, expect Five’s. He stayed behind and stopped Klaus from going up to his room to pack.

“I’ve gone through that breakfast four times. You’ve said you won the vacation, and that you have a husband.” Five said suspiciously. “And that you would bring Diego, but you booked for the rest of us as well.” Klaus was about to deny everything, but he knew better than that. The last thing he needs right now is for Five to do something to him.

“Correct.” Klaus nodded earning a death glare from Ben.

“Tell him the entire truth.” Klaus hissed at Ben. “For your own good.”

“It’s a couple’s thing, isn’t it?” Klaus tried to play it dumb.

“What? A couple’s thing?” He tried to act like he has no idea what Five is on about but failed miserably.

“We will find out sooner or later. So spill it out.” Klaus took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“It’s a resort strictly for couples yes, I only found out about it being a coupley resort after I won the vacation. I felt bad that I would only bring Diego so I booked for the rest of you too.” Five gave him an angry look.

“I assure you, none of us would’ve been mad. More in the sense of pleased, because we won’t be stuck with your annoying junky ass for two weeks in a room with nowhere to run.” Klaus opened then closed his mouth knowing very well that Five is right. “Plus. It’s a couple’s resort and I look like a 13-year-old!” Five whispered yelled at Klaus. “You are dumber than Luther and Diego combined together.”

“No, you see… I thought about it. Since I’ve said to that host, I have a husband, I had to go with Diego.” Five opened his mouth. “No. Let me finish. Luther won’t leave Allison’s side, you look like a 13-year-old as you’ve said, so Diego was the only choice. I’ve booked a cabin for Allison and Luther, and you and Vanya, because if one squints, you can pass for a seriously under-developed 18-year-old and Vanya looks the youngest beside you of course.”

“Apocalypse dream team.” Ben yelled at Klaus while Five was saying that with his eyes.

“How about, Vanya finds herself a date and I… Well, I stay at home?” Five asked and Klaus gasped.

“You don’t want to spend some time with us?” He asked sounding actually hurt. 

“Hmm... I wonder what we have been doing for the past year?” Five asked sarcastically.

“This is why nobody likes you, Five.” Five waved his hand in annoyance. “How about you put on a big boy’s pants, suck it up and go to the fucking vacation and actually enjoy yourself?” Five scoffed to that because enjoy and the six of them in one place is almost impossible.

“The six of us in one place? Right… Do I have to remind you that only this morning we’ve had your ass dying TWICE, Luther once and Vanya nearly did who knows what?” Klaus opened than closed his mouth. “We are a walking disaster. If we don’t start another apocalypse, there are still village idiot number one and village idiot number two, one’s moto is Hulk smash other has a serious hero complex problem. And do I need to remind you that they actually can’t go a day without fighting each other?” Klaus opened than closed his moth trying to figure a counter-attack he can use.

“They have an open bar.” Five cocked his eyebrow at him. “You can drink as much as you like, anything you like on their charge.”

“Are we developing a problem, again?” And Diego had to walk into the kitchen just now.

“No, he was telling me about the resort.” Diego growled and pointed his finger at Klaus.

“If I see you even in a 2 meters radius of that bar, I am beating you to death…” Five cleared his throat and Diego rolled his eyes. “Fine… I am rehabilitating you myself. And it won’t be nice.” Five rolled his eyes and nodded because this is as good of an answer as he can get from someone like Diego.

“I will go if you tell him about the resort.” Maybe he doesn’t want Diego to beat Klaus to death, but he would enjoy watching him breaking Klaus’s face because he deserves it.

“What about it?” Diego asked suspiciously and Klaus gulped. Five gave him a weird look, for a moment he could see it in his eyes, Klaus was actually genuinely scared.

“The only tea they have is the green one.” Five said with a disgusted face, confusing everyone. “I mean who normal drinks that shit?”

“You only drink coffee.” Diego said with his eyebrow raised looking between Klaus and Five, because something is not right.

“I have you know, I do enjoy a nice cup of cinnamon apple tea, thank you very much.” Diego shook his head in confusion.

“Did Five… NO! He doesn’t have a heart.” Ben said in disbelief.

“You owe me.” Five mouthed with a smirk as he walked away.

“There it is.” Ben mumbled while Klaus stood on his spot pretty speechless.

“What was that about?” Diego asked holding a knife in his hand. Klaus slowly shook his head and his gaze immediately fell on the knife.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m bringing as many weapons as possible.” Klaus gave him a murderous look and Diego started laughing. “We’ll have a barbeque for lunch.” Klaus still had no idea what’s with the knife holding.

“We’ve had breakfast literally 10 minutes ago, you don’t have any meat to grill and what, you planned to prepare the nonexistent meat in the living room?” Klaus opened the palm of his left hand as a sign for Diego to give him the knife. Diego rolled his eyes and with a scoff gave the knife to Klaus.

“I would bring my own knives, but someone, I suspect Luther, took them and hid them away.”

“Well, you are not bringing any knives to the resort.” Klaus simply said as he tried his best not to crack up.

“You never know.”

“What? You think we will meet some WAY too competitive people or something? I don’t think anyone will go that extreme.”

“What?” Diego asked confused because last he checked they were going on a vacation to a lake resort, not a summer camp.

“Never mind that, you are not bringing any knives.” Diego tried his best to give him puppy eyes, but Klaus was unbreakable.

“Just let him bring one. Besides, there will be I assume cutlery at the resort unless they want their guests to go as native as possible and make them eat with their hands.” Klaus hissed at Ben, confusing Diego. “Let him have this one, or, we won’t hear the end of it.” Klaus rolled his eyes because even with one knife Diego can cause heavy shitstorm and the resort will offer plenty more knives for Diego to use. “You know how he gets. If something will happen, which in normal people’s life is highly unlikely, in yours well it will be a miracle if nothing will happen, he will never ever shut up about you not letting him bring a knife.” Ben was having his monologue while Klaus was completely ignoring him, thinking about how he would kill for some nice glass of any alcoholic beverage really, as he started regretting the idea of a two weeks vacation.

“Stop that. Shut up. One! JUST ONE!” Klaus yelled admitting the defeat, anything to shut him up, really.

“Why are you mad at me?” Diego asked acting innocent.

“Not you. I am dealing with a bit of a… schizo problem.” Diego cocked his eyebrow at him and scoffed.

“Nice to know that Ben is here.”

“Ben? Ben who?!” Klaus asked trying to act confused and before Diego could do anything, Klaus started running upstairs.

“Real smooth, real smooth, Thrift Shop Melinda.” Ben hissed at Klaus who just shrugged him off.

“Stop running!” Diego yelled helplessly after Klaus. “You do realize I have a knife.” That made Klaus stop dead on his tracks.

“Fiiiiiiiiiine!!!” He dragged out the word. “Yes, Ben is here.” Diego stood in front of him with a satisfied smile.

“I wanna talk to him.” Klaus shook his head, his locks flapping around.

“He lost his possessing privileges, ever since that stunt he pulled back in the ‘60s.” Diego casually lifted the hand that was holding the knife up in the air and observed its steely shine.

“Five minutes is all I’m asking.” Klaus scoffed eyeing the knife.

“Or what? You will kill me?” To that Diego shook his head.

“Oh, no, no… not you… your hair, however.”

“Fine! But, five minutes. Not a second longer.” Diego eagerly nodded with a satisfied smile on his face as he still observed the knife in his hand.


	7. There’s Nothing Better Than a Fine Morning Possession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super late update, but I've had to study and I kinda forgot to update. Today was the exam and in a couple of days, I will have the oral part of the exam.
> 
> Anyways 
> 
> Thank you for all your support  
> Much love  
> \-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You know the drill.” Diego said after Klaus stopped shaking.

“Luther sniffs dad’s underwear.” Ben sang unimpressed and Diego stepped back in surprise.

“Hold on, how do I know that Klaus didn’t simply remember that, since it’s his body.” Ben rolled his eyes.

“Doesn’t work like that.” Diego gave him the look. “When we were 14…” Ben looked around just to make sure no one is eavesdropping. “We snuck in Luther’s room while he was asleep and put his hand in a bucket of water. When he peed the bed, we took off and made a show out it.” Diego dropped the knife and hugged Ben. “Yeah, come to think of it, we were terrible.” Diego chuckled at that as he held unto him like his life depends on it. “Why do you want to talk to me?” Diego pulled away from the hug and placed his hands on Klaus/Ben’s shoulders.

“I’ve missed you, too.” Diego said sarcastically.

“Well, I can actually hear him counting seconds, so…” Diego looked at him in pure panic.

“He is aware of our conversation?” Ben shook his head.

“No, he isn’t. You can imagine our situation like driving a car. His body is a car, and when I am the driver he is in the background deaf and blind.” Diego gave him a weirded-out look and Ben sighed. “We will keep ghostology 101 for Klaus to explain or for when we won’t be timed.” Diego opened than closed his mouth with a nod.

“What’s going on with that vacation?”

“You’ll have to be more specific about that.” Diego nodded casually picking up the knife he dropped. “Are you threatening me, or something?” Diego gave him a confused look and Ben gestured at the knife in his hand that is clearly pointed at him. Diego nervously chuckled.

“Sorry, I guess, it’s a force of habit I didn’t know I’ve had.” Ben nodded. “Right. The question. Why is he bringing me as his husband?” To that Ben let out a sarcastic chuckle.

“Because, our dear Klaus lives in who knows which century, where he thinks being gay would set people off.” Diego had to roll his eyes at that, because nobody gives a shit, for as long as people care you could identify as a helicopter.

“That explains one thing, but it doesn’t explain why me.” Ben nodded to that with his pointing finger up in the air.

“A-a-a-a….About that… I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he doesn’t, none of you actually have any friends, and I don’t think asking your dealer… to a ro… erm… on a vacation with you is normal. So, between, Luther who lingers to Allison like a lost puppy, Five who if you take away the fact that he looks like a 13-year-old, is still a raging psychopath, and you, a raging psychopath, but more in a range of Hannibal Lector psychopath, he picked you.” Diego made a face actually considering stabbing Ben/Klaus.

“So, I am a cannibal?” Ben shook his head with a chuckle.

“No, I mean, I hope you are not.” Diego raised his eyebrow at him, and Ben nodded with a teasing smirk. “What I am saying here is that you are a psychopath, but a lovable one, you know, like Hannibal. Whereas Five is like Ted, nobody likes Ted Bundy.” Diego sighed with a nod.

“A lost puppy, a Ted Bundy like a psychopath and a Hannibal Lector like a psychopath? Sounds like the beginning of a very disturbing joke.”

“Well if you think about it, we, our life is a very disturbing joke. I mean look at us.” He started to laugh as he pointed between the two of them. “You are talking to your adoptive brother who has been dead for the past 12 years through a body of your adoptive brother who is bringing you along on a vacation as his husband in hopes that you will fall in love with him.” Diego’s mouth dropped wide open and the knife dropped on the floor again.

“You’ve said what?”

“Time to goooo.” And before Diego could say anything, Ben was gone and Klaus back.

“254…” Klaus stopped counting and smiled at Diego. “What’s with the face?” He asked gesturing at him and Diego growled.

“Bring him back.” Klaus looked around the room only to notice Ben is nowhere to be seen.

“Yeah, I would, but he isn’t actually here. And what happened?” Diego shook his head and stormed upstairs, leaving the knife on the floor. “Diego. A knife! You le…” But, he was cut off by door slamming. “Ben!” Klaus hissed at the air, but Ben was still nowhere to be found. “Ben, get your sorry dead ass over here right this moment.”

“What?” Ben spat out making Klaus jump in surprise.

“Where are you?” Klaus looked around the room but there was no sign of Ben.

“I’m here. What do you want?” Ben asked sounding like he is very close to him.

“Why can’t I see you?”

“What do you want?”

“You and Diego… What the hell happened?”

“I don’t know.” Klaus narrowed his eyebrows at the thin air since he had no idea where Ben is.

“You know. Now, tell me.” He could hear Ben scoff, which only meant he is somewhere very close to him.

“I sort of pulled a Crystal Duck stunt created by one and only Chandler Bing.” Klaus had no idea what he was talking about.

“Who? What?”

“Right, you don’t know, why would you.” Ben stopped to think about this, maybe he doesn’t need to know after all. He could lie. “I made him mad because I called him a village idiot.”

“Who is that Chandler whatever?” Ben made himself visible to Klaus, only so he could give him a mocking look.

“Chandler Bing, and I’m adding this to my _Klaus not understanding pop culture references_ list.” Klaus jerked his head away from Ben with a light blush on his face. “And mind you, you are on the roll today.”

“For someone who is dead, you sure as hell have lots of those stupid pop culture references.”

“There’s not much to do when you are dead.... Go packing. I will go… I don’t know… I’ll stalk George Michael or something.” And with that Klaus felt Ben leaving the land of the living.


	8. Summer Camp For Couples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To apologize for my assholeness, here's a double update for ya.   
> I hope you are not too mad and/or disappointed. 
> 
> Once again. 
> 
> Thank you for all your wonderful support
> 
> Much love
> 
> \-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Packing went as good as you can imagine if you take 6 thirty-year-olds with brains of actual six-year-olds who are going on the vacation trip for the first time in their life. At one point, Luther came in Klaus’s room asking whether he will need his spacesuit.

“If you plan going back to the moon, then the answer is yes, otherwise, no!” Klaus yelled at him worried more about Ben than anything else. This has been the longest he hasn’t seen Ben while being sober.

The entire day passed without Ben ever coming back and by now Klaus was getting almost apocalyptic. It wasn’t until he planned to go to the cemetery and lock himself in that tomb dad used to lock him in when he was just a child, that Ben finally showed up.

“No need to go there, I am here, Klaus.” Ben said in a gloomier voice than usual and Klaus sighed in relief with actual tears in his eyes.

“I thought you were gone, man.” Klaus said spinning around the room hoping to see Ben, but he remains hidden. “Why are you hiding?” But, Ben was gone again. Klaus considered talking to Diego about the whole situation, when Five barged in his room, with a cup of coffee in his right hand, and red plastic cylindrical-shaped container in his left. He handed him the container, and Klaus took it with a suspicious look.

“It’s coffee. You will need it. Apparently, the only brand they have is stinking Maxwell House.” Klaus raised his eyebrow because he doesn’t remember telling him the name of the resort. “You left your laptop open on the resort’s official page.” Klaus hurried to the door and slammed them shut. He gave him a panicked look. “Calm down, I haven’t told anything to anyone, yet.” Klaus sighed in relief. “Do you know we are going on some 2 weeks bitch fest?”

“The what?” He asked in confusion.

“Tomorrow is the opening day of something called “14 days of love”, but if you ask me, this shitshow has nothing to do with the word love.” Klaus gave him confused look. “You haven’t even read the whole thing?” Klaus shook his head with a suspicious look earning a growl from Five. “First, you are a moron for getting all of us into this without looking into it before. And second, the 14 days of stupid couple activities that you will be forced to attend since you’ve won the VIP version of tickets, whatever that means.” Five started cracking up when he noticed how horrified he is. “Oh, this is going to be wonderful.” Five said in amusement as he started walking out of Klaus’s room. But, before he could leave, Klaus decided to ask about that Chandler guy Ben mentioned earlier.

“Hey, here’s a weird, totally unrelated to the vacation catastrophe question. Who is Chandler Bing?” Five stopped dead on his tracks and with horror in his eyes looked at Klaus.

“Is he dead?” He asked in a rather shaky voice, sounding scared which isn’t something Five does.

“How would I know that!?” Klaus yelled in frustration.

“Are you serious right now?” Five snapped and Klaus made a face before he shook his head.

“I was told he has something to do with pop culture references or something.” By hearing that, Five relaxed and started nervously laughing.

“Oh, that one…” Klaus gave him confused look. “You don’t want to know about Commission Chandler Bing or any of other F.R.I.E.N.D.S.…” He shrugged him off with a nervous chuckle. “What exactly were you told?”

“Something about the crystal duck and then that name was mentioned.” Five smirked because that means that someone finally told Diego that Klaus is in love with him.

“Here’s a tip. Google crystal duck friends and see what will happen. I repeat crystal duck friends.” And before Klaus could do or say anything, Five was gone.

***Next morning***

After Five’s visit, Klaus decided to google that phrase and then went on reading the entire resort memo. Both of those awoke horror in him. According to Google, that Chandler guy told some girl that some other dude is in love with her, which means Ben told Diego. Perfect catastrophe. And then... there are that whole 14 days of couple activities that he and Diego will have to do unless they have 20million dollars. He figured, he should probably keep Diego in as good of a mood as possible, so maybe he will kill him painlessly and fast. To do that, Klaus knew he needed to make the travel to the resort as comfortable as possible. Since Ben was nowhere to be found, he decided to ask Five for help, only to learn that he had already booked them a jet under the name of Klaus Hargreeves.

They hopped on the private jet that unbeknownst to them was Five who actually arranged it, but, honestly, no one besides Klaus (who is trying to ease Diego into the truth) gave a shit about who, how, and why has booked them a private jet.

***On the jet, a couple of minutes into their flight***

Allison and Luther enjoyed their little conversation about some random topic, Diego was fast asleep with his earphones stuck in his ears, Klaus was biting his fingernails while glaring at Diego as he tried to come up with the best way to tell Diego what is going on, and what sort of shit he has gotten them into. Five, who was sitting way in the back suddenly stood up and approached Vanya who was reading Pride and Prejudice.

“You know our idiot brother Klaus, right?” Vanya gave him a hurt look. She doesn’t like when they are hating on each other. “Believe me, you will agree with me after you hear what I have to say.” She opened then closed her mouth and slowly shook her head. “We’ll see about that. I think it is wildly popular that despite having one, he rarely uses his brain.” She raised her eyebrow at him making him sigh. “He has booked us a 2 weeks vacation in a couples-only resort. He paired the two of us up, and for the next two weeks, we will have to share a cabin, and we will get plenty of weirded-out looks.”

“People will think I am a pedophile.”She said in a horror. With a sad look on his eyes, Five nodded.

“Unless we come up with the sappy back story.”

“You’ve said it’s couples-only resort.” Five opened than closed his mouth with a nod.

“It’s a very huge stretch.” She nodded. “We will say that I am your son, and that sadly, my dad passed away a couple of weeks ago, and that our family made us go.”

“That sounds horrible. It’s a couples-only resort. How many more times will I have to say that phrase, before you accept the situation?”

“Do you have a better idea?” She aggressively nodded.

“The truth. Which is, our dear brother booked us all a holiday without telling us it is a couples-only resort.” Five growled at that, because that is the least fun thing to do, and come to think about it, they can’t technically tell the truth.

“Yeah, that’s out of the question.”

“Why?”

“Because the junky idiot is in love with the dumb idiot and will try to make his move on him during this vacation. I’ve told you, he is an idiot.”

“First of all, stop offending them and second, I take it, Klaus is the one in love, but who is he in love with?”

“Low budget, gender-reversed, knife loving Pocahontas.” Five said pointing at Diego.

“Well, I will not be looked upon as a pedophile.” Vanya said in a stern voice. “Better start coming up with some really good lie.”

Klaus gently kicked Diego’s foot. He opened his left eye and growled.

“We’ve landed already?” Klaus shook his head, and Diego closed his eye. “And why are you sitting so close to me?” Klaus kicked his foot again. “Knock it off!” Diego growled and Klaus gave him a weak smile.

“What happened between you and Ben?” Diego shook his head pointing at his earphones.

“Can’t hear you.” Klaus smirked at that.

“Luther just said you stink.” Diego jumped from his seat ready to fight Luther but stopped when he saw the smirk on Klaus’s face. “Now. What happened between you and Ben?” Diego shook his head as he sat back down.

“Why are you bringing me as your husband?” And that question confirmed it all. He did find the correct crystal duck scene, Ben was talking about. Klaus gulped and gave him a shaky smile.

“So, I take it you know?” Diego hummed with his hands crossed on his chest and a bit murderous look on his face. “You are oddly calm about it.” He hummed but shook his head.

“I’m trying to list as many possible ways to kill you as possible. I’m on 20 so far.” Klaus nervously laughed. “I am serious.”

“Look, man, worst-case scenario, you and I will have to act it out for 2 weeks, and do those 14 stupid things or whatever.” Diego cocked his eyebrow and Klaus mentally slapped himself, because apparently Diego doesn’t know about those. He stood up and was ready to go as far away from him as possible when his gaze made him sit back down. “Hold on!!! Why do you want to kill me then? I figured it was because of those 14 things, and not because of the whole in love situation since you would have killed me already or something.” Diego gave him a murderous look because this is getting worse and worse by the minutes.

“For being a bigger idiot than usual.” He simply said as he kept digging holes through his thick skull. “The 14…” Klaus took a deep breath and closed his eyes, if he is going to deliver the news to him, he needs his eyes closed.

“Right… The VIP tickets I won. They kind of force us into doing those ridiculous 14 challenges of massaging, and dancing and stuff.” Diego sighed and pulled on his hair in frustration.

“Oh, no, no… You will list all 14 of them, or so help me…” Klaus looked at him wide-eyed from the shock, and Diego smirked. “Technically it’s 28, but half of it is the same thing that every guest will have to partake.” Klaus sighed. “The thing called couple on couple, apparently it’s some sort of the newlyweds game, whatever that is. That’s the one that will last for 14 days, man if this is some fucked up 14 days long orgie, I am leaving the camp…”

“If that’s the case, I am killing you way before you leave the camp…” Diego growled at him because this is terrible. “List the other 14…” 

“Drawing each other is one of them…”

“That’s not terrible…” Diego admitted liking the idea of him drawing Klaus as a pile of shit, a pile of glittered shit to be precise. "List all of them and stop fucking stalling!" Klaus nodded, grabbing his phone and opening the document with all the information.

“Today at 2 pm Compliments to the Other Half, then Couple on Couple at 8 pm, tomorrow Couple on Couple at 10 am then Paint Me at 5 pm, Wednesday Couple on Couple at 10 am and Pictionary at 5 pm, Thursday Conjured Twins at 10 am and Couple on Couple at 9 pm, Friday 10 am Treasure Hunt, Couple on Couple 8 pm, Saturday Massaging at 5 pm and Couple on Couple at 8 pm, Sunday Trusting You at 10 am, Couple on Couple at 4 pm, Monday 10 am Gender Swapping and Couple on Couple at 8 pm, Tuesday Couple on Couple at 10 am and Couple Feud at 4 pm, Wednesday Couple on Couple at 10 am and Blindfolded at 8 pm, Thursday No Hands Fun at 10 am and Couple on Couple at 6 pm, Sunday Couple on Couple at 10 am and Dancing at 9 pm and Sunday 10 am Chapstick Tasting and the big finale of Couple on Couple at 7 pm.”

“Just send me the fucking thing so I can take a look at it because, by the names of some of the activities, you should be deeply concerned for your stupid life.” Klaus did as he was told and Diego’s phone made a blipping sound as he received it. “Why do we need to do any of those anyway?”

“Because it’s sort of like a summer camp.” Diego felt like crying because this is getting worse and worse.

“So what, we refuse to participate and they call our parents?” He asked sarcastically.

“We will be forced to pay the full price.” Diego looked up with hope in his eyes.

“Then we will pay.” Klaus shook his head.

“Well... Since everyone who book their vacation there, actually want to be there. In the last paragraph, they’ve listed amongst other penalties, that everyone with the VIP card who refuses to participate will pay the 20 million dollars fee. Which is absurd and they might have put that in for the laughs, but they will have legal rights to make us pay that amount.” Diego started laughing thinking he is joking. Klaus took his phone out and opened the contract he got in the e-mail. Diego yanked the phone out of his hand.

“Unless they have a valid reason for not participating.” Diego read out loud. “Good. I will even let you choose, coma from head trauma or broken spine?” Diego threw the phone back at Klaus. “What the fuck have you gotten us into? I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that the resort is a fake thing ran by The Temps Commission.” Diego said in an annoyed voice as he closed his eyes once again and went back to enjoying his music. "Get lost before I hurt you!" Diego snapped and Klaus with a sad eyes, decided to go sit as far away from him as possible.


	9. Shrek, Swamp Thing And Mosquito Walk Into a Swamp…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, chapter 9. Finally at the resort. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all your support 
> 
> Much love 
> 
> \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Klaus walked to the cabin that had a reception thing and an information desk, while the rest of them stayed outside.

“Hello.” Klaus said with a soft smile, a nice sweat forming on his forehead. The receptionist, Klaus had to notice is an exceptionally good looking, in fact, Klaus would hit on him if he saw him in a club or something. The guy has a nice facial structure and a jawline that makes him weak in his legs.

“Hello, welcome to the Green Bay Resort, how can I help?” Klaus was dumbstruck at this point, he forgot what his name is let alone where he is and why he is here.

“KLAUS!” Ben yelled in his ear and Klaus shook his head and cleared his throat. “You are embarrassing yourself.”

“Erm… I have reservation under…erm… shek…” He mumbled the last bit and the receptionist gave him a look.

“Shek? Could you spell it out for me?” The receptionist asked and Klaus started breathing very fast, a panic attack closing in on him.

“Don’t have a panic attack now. Just spell whatever nonsense you came up with.” Ben tried to calm him down, but the fact that he will have to come clean about the resort to an already angry mob of idiots, and the fact that the receptionist is way too gorgeous to be true is catching up with him. And on top of that, he needs to pick up 3 sets of keys under not-so-normal names that he thought at the time would be hilarious. “KLAUS!!!” Klaus shook his head and gulped loudly than he intended.

“It’s Shrek. S-h-r-e-k.” He said in a shaky voice, and Ben went hysterical.

“Mr. and Msr. Shrek?” The receptionist asked sounding unamused. “Which one?” Klaus gave him a confused look. “You thought you were the first dum… erm… person who came up with that?” Klaus made an “o” face, now feeling kind of down about the whole thing. “So?!”

“Erm… Klaus and…” The receptionist rolled his eyes.

“Right Mr. Klaus and Mr. Fiona Shrek. Original.” He said sarcastically. “You are in cabin 32. And congratulations.” He gave him two keys and Klaus took them. When their hands touched, Klaus actually felt shivers going through his entire body.

“I erm… I am picking two more reservations.” The guy cocked an eyebrow at him. “We all came together.” Klaus pointed at the entrance where they were. Diego was trying to take his suitcase back from Luther who held it above his head, Allison and Vanya were laughing while Five was by the looks of it yelling at them and probably calling them idiots.

Klaus gave the receptionist a shy smile with a very red face. 

“You do realize this is a couple’s only resort, not a family resort.” Klaus nodded with an eye-roll while Ben was still laughing his ass off. “Fine. Names.”

“Abby Arcane.” Klaus said and the receptionist rolled his eyes again.

“Haven’t heard that one in a while.” He handed Klaus another set of keys. “Cabin 85.”

“Why are we so far apart?”

“Because, mister SHREK, yours is a VIP ticket while Swamp Thing’s girlfriend has a regular ticket.” Klaus nodded while Ben was having the time of his life. “And the last reservation?”

“Vanya Korokoro.” The guy gave him a confused look.

“You ran out of pop culture references, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. Korokoro is Maori for mosquito.” Klaus admitted in a defeat and the guy let out what Klaus could only describe as one of the most adorable things ever.

“Well, Mister and Misses mosquito are in a cabin 86.” Klaus took the keys with a smile.

“Here are 6 sets of brochures with detailed information about the events that will happen in the next two weeks.” The receptionist handed Klaus 6 brochures. “The opening ceremony will start in 3 hours, so be at the Hall Cabin by 1 pm. And if you or any of your friends will need anything ask for Jacob.”

“Oh… Well, thank you so much Jacob.” The guy laughed and shook his head.

“Not Jacob.” He pointed at someone behind Klaus. Klaus turned around and followed his finger. He was pointing at the information desk where a middle-aged heavily over-weighted man was standing. “Jacob.” He said in amusement and Klaus smirked, liking this game.

“And you are?” The guy laughed and shook his head.

“Klaus! What the hell are you doing?” Ben asked as he couldn’t believe that Klaus is actually flirting with him.

“Now, now, we don’t want Fiona to get jealous. Fiona is not the kind of a character you wish to make jealous.” Klaus gave him a huge smile followed by a wink. The guy let out a chuckle that sounded more like a choke. “You better get going.” Klaus nodded.

“Well, I will be seeing you around, prince Charming.” The guy rolled his eyes but couldn’t keep himself from smiling. Klaus, with a satisfied smirk, walked outside.

“Seriously Klaus!!!” Klaus stopped walking and turned to his right where Ben was. Klaus hissed at Ben and dragged him into the bathroom that was inside the cabin. He pushed Ben inside the man’s bathroom.

“Shut up. Diego and me will never happen. He offered his entire inheritance for a swap.”

“Neither will you and that receptionist, because for all he knows, you are here with your husband and your friends.” Klaus rolled his eyes.

“Minor details. I am good at lying I can always say that I caught him cheating on me with Allison or something.” Ben rolled his eyes because this is stupid.

“You’ve told Diego what is going on, he knows why you brought him along as your husband and now you plan to get in the first pair of underwear you find attractive?”

“Technically the first pair would kill me before I’d even get to the flirting part. So, the receptionist is the second.” Ben rolled his eyes at that and vanished without saying a word.

“You are giving up already?” Five came out of one of the stalls, scarring the shit out of Klaus. “I think if you give him time and if you start acting like a grown-up and all, he could, you know, potentially fall for you. I mean… Let’s look at the evidence. Who was there whenever you needed help?”

“Diego.” Klaus mumbled and Five nodded.

“Who was there to help you sobber up?”

“Diego.”

“Who believed you and trusted you when no one else would?”

“Diego.”

“Who came here even though he knew you are in love with him?” Klaus opened than closed his mouth. Five put his hand on his shoulder. “I think you are in a far better situation than you think.” Five started going out, but he stopped at the door. “Oh, and everyone else knows about the resort, you are welcome by the way.”


	10. 5 Days of Personal Hell and Occasional Death Threats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go chapter 10.
> 
> Thank you for all your support
> 
> Much love  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay. Mister and Misses Abby Arcane are in the cabin 85.” Klaus said with a nervous look handing the keys and two brochures to unimpressed and quite angry looking Luther. “Mister and Misses Korokoro are in cabin 86.” He handed a set of keys and two brochures to white-faced Vanya, since they still hadn’t come up with the plausible lie. “Mister Klaus and Mister Fiona Shrek are in cabin 32.” He said while jiggling with his own keys. “Right. Off we go, the opening thing starts in 3 hours, I suppose we will meet here at 12:45?” All of them were glaring at him for obvious reasons.

“You better start explaining, Klaus.” Five said with a sigh sounding like he has about enough of everything.

“Well… At the time I was making the reservation, using swamp related things seemed like a pretty good joke.” They all kept glaring. “But, now I wish I was dead. Besides, it’s not like I could have made reservations under the name Hargreeves.”

“Right, because there isn’t a guy in each of your dumb pairings that could pass as brothers… Righttttt…” Allison pointed out with an eye roll. “Come on Luther, let's go.” Allison furiously pulled Luther after her and he finally let go of Diego’s suitcase.

“Klaus… What will we do about us?” Vanya asked in concern gesturing at herself and Five who was drinking his coffee. Klaus cocked an eyebrow at her. “He looks like a 13-year-old. People will think I am a pedophile.” Klaus shook his head.

“No, we will say he has a condition and that he is 18. Don’t worry about it.” Both Vanya and Five rolled their eyes in annoyance before they too took off.

“You seem to have everything sorted out, don’t you?” Diego asked in a very sarcastic tone making Klaus sigh because all he wanted was for all 6 of them and Ben to enjoy, but as it seems all he does is wrong.

“If you are all so smart, how come none of you came up with the family vacation idea?” Diego cocked an eyebrow at him.

“First of all, you didn’t come up with this and second I assure you if anyone else was handling the vacation planning, and I mean anyone else, we wouldn't end up in the… I’m quoting you “summer camp for couples”. Even Luther would have come up with something better, heck, a bloody science camp for kids sounds much more fun than this. At least that one wouldn’t include me giving you a bloody massage.”

“You know what? Forgive me for trying to give all of you some relaxing and fun times.” Klaus threw the key at Diego and went back inside the cabin to the information desk.

“Klaus, what are you doing?” Klaus for once decided to ignore him like he has been ignoring him. He inhaled deeply and put the best charming smile on his face as he approached the information desk.

“Hello, welcome to the…”

“Yes, yes, hi. I need to speak to someone about some legal issues.” Jacob gave Klaus a confused look. “Erm… Legal matters or whatever… Look I need someone who handles those idiotic contracts of yours.” The guy kept staring at him. Klaus sighed in annoyance and turned around to look at the receptionist. “Prince Charming, who can I speak to about legal issues with the contract?” The receptionist nodded taking his phone and dialing someone.

“Mister Green, hello, sorry for bothering you, but there is a guest who would like to speak to you about the contract…” Klaus gave a judging look to Jacob and turned back around with a smirk on his face.

“Seriously Klaus, what are you doing?” But, Klaus had no plans to talk to Ben. “Fine. I’m going.” If Klaus was bothered with that he didn’t show it, he kept on smirking while looking at the receptionist.

“Yes sir…. Of course, mister Green… Right away, mister Green.” And with that, he hung up. “Mister Green is waiting for you in his office, cabin 1.” Klaus nodded.

“Thank you.” And he walked out only to see that Diego is still there.

“Look, Klaus…” Diego started talking in a calmer and almost loving voice, but Klaus just passed him without actually acknowledging him. He hurried down the pebbled path and knocked on the door of the cabin 1.

“Yes, come in.” A rough male voice came from inside, sending shivers down his spine because Klaus never heard such a powerful, manly, and frankly scary voice. He slowly opened the wooden door and his gaze immediately fell on the middle-aged mustached man sitting at the desk with a cowboy hat on his head.

“Hello, mister Green, my name is Klaus.” The man stood up from his chair to shake Klaus’s hand.

“Hello, mister Klaus, welcome to the resort. Please sit down.” Klaus did as he was told. “Can I interest you in a glass of water or some scotch?” Klaus shook his head with a polite smile. “Okay, I was told you want to talk to me about some legal matters of the contract?” Klaus nodded suddenly feeling very nervous.

“Right… yes… so… I won a VIP card for me and… yeah… Turns out, he doesn’t want to be here. Are we allowed to leave at any given time without having to pay 20 million dollars?” Mister Green gave Klaus a surprised look.

“Folks who make reservations or win the card usually want to stay here.” Klaus gave him a shy smile, as he tried to come up with a lie.

“We are kind of in the middle of a divorce and suddenly he doesn’t like nature.”

“I see.” Mister Green said nodding. “My wife and I had the same problem…”

“I hardly believe so, mister Green.”

“Why because I am married to a woman and you are married to a man?” Klaus opened than closed his mouth. “How long have you been married?”

“Close to a year.” Mister Green hummed.

“And prior to that how long have you known each other?” Klaus was too scared of him to question his questions.

“Our entire life.” He nodded again. “I think we work better as friends.”

“Look… How about, you give it a try and if the activities won’t help, you will be free to go. Say 5 days?”

“5 days what?”

“If you’ll still want to leave after 5 days, I will be the one tearing apart your contract.” With a heavy sigh, Klaus stood up and shook his head.

“Five days is doable.”

“Wonderful.” Mister Green replied and Klaus left the cabin feeling a bit better, he managed to get it down to 5 days of personal hell and occasional death threats from Diego. He sped walked back to the place where they all were before he went to pick the keys and saw that Diego is still there, sitting on his suitcase.

“First of all, get your fat ass off my suitcase, and second in 5 days time we are free to leave without having to pay the 20 mill.” Diego stared at him with wide eyes and Klaus sighed in annoyance. He pushed him off his suitcase with a smug face. Diego fell on his ass with a thump and a small yelp. “Told you to get off.”

“You will be a pure delight to be around.”

“Just returning given attitude, darling.” With that said Klaus turned on his hill with extra sass and started marching towards their cabin.

Diego stood up dusting his jeans, picked up his duffle bag, and followed Klaus.

“By the way, for the sake of it, I’ve told the owner of the resort that we are in the middle of the divorce, so you won’t have to act like you actually can stand me.” Diego let out an inhuman growl and grabbed Klaus by his shirt making him stop.

“You are a fucking prick, you know that, right? When I gave you the idea that I can’t fucking stand you?!” Diego yelled at the top of his lungs earning some looks from people who were walking around the resort.

“I don’t think we have enough time for me to list everything.”

“I can’t stand you when you are acting like a dick.” Klaus cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I was a dick back in the sixties when you offered Five, money to leave me behind? I was a dick when you offered all your inheritance for a swap so you won’t have to share a cabin with me?”

“I was joking, Klaus, you need to lighten up. Look…” Diego’s facial expression softened. “I’ve had all the rights to react the way I did, seeing I will have to be a pretend husband of my brother.” Klaus gave him a sad look shaking his head, as it is by every passing second becoming clearer that the two of them will never happen.

“We are not related. And, as I’ve told you, in five days time we will be on our way out of here.”

“You are, both of you, are acting like a couple of schoolgirls.” Ben appeared out of nowhere just to say that and he took off again.

They walked to the cabin in complete silence with Klaus leading the way and Diego following close behind.


	11. Dora the Explorer and Kasper the Reappearing Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mom had the viruse. She was in-between life and death not even joking, and the entire thing fucked me up pretty badly. I've already lost my father to a heart attack back in 2018 and now I've nearly lost her.  
> On top of that, I have to attend online classes from Monday to Friday from 5:00 pm will 8:30 pm, and on Saturdays from 8am-12 pm. I have a lot on my plate and I hope you are not too mad at me for not having the till or the energy to upload the chapters or to continue this story.  
> I'm still not completely okay, mentally speaking, but I am well enough to continue.
> 
> Thank you for all your support
> 
> Much love  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With a proud smile Klaus stopped at the cabin he was sure is theirs.

“Newsflash, Dora the Explorer, there’s number 23 on the cabin door, not 32.” Diego said unamused as he waved with the pair of keys with the keychain in the shape of a number 32. Klaus rolled his eyes since he was sure this was their cabin. He tried to think logically, if they are at 23 then 32 is supposed to be somewhere around here. He started walking forward and growled in pure agony when he saw that the cabin next to 23 is 68.

“Apparently, whoever creating this resort was a dyslexic as well.” Klaus said in disbelief.

“That or they are crazy beyond help.” Diego simply replied.

Thanks to the brochure that was so well made that even Ben Grills wouldn’t be able to find the bloody cabin, and after they’ve managed to somehow be back where they started, without a word Diego yanked the brochure that had a map of the resort on it, out of Klaus’s hands.

“Congratulations, Dora the Explorer strikes again!” Klaus wasn’t sure what he did wrong. “You’ve read the fucking thing upside down.”

“Well, that certainly won’t help with the already shitty atmosphere.” Ben, much to Klaus’s annoyance, deicide to show up again.

“Oh, if it isn’t, Kasper the Reappearing Ghost.” Klaus hissed under his breath while Diego marched forward. “Speaking of which… I hope there is a way to kill a ghost because I am killing you. First, you tell him about my feelings, and then you start acting all weird, with disappearing and appearing.”

“Well… I figured you were angry at me.” Klaus flipped his off and marched after Diego.

Five minutes later, they were at their cabin. Turns out they’ve had to make a right turn not left. When he saw where their cabin is, Klaus gasped. It was already beautiful and he can only imagine how beautiful it will be at sunrise and sunset. The cabin goes above the gorgeous light blue lake. The dark brown wood they used to make it goes perfectly with all the greens and the blue from the lake. By the front door, Klaus noticed was a round wooden table with two matching chairs and a vase with some purple flowers in it. They had to climb up 3 stairs and the moment they stepped on the porch the outdoor wall-lamp lit up.

“That’s a waste of power.” Diego mumbled.

“It’s the LED, and the entire camp works on solar panels and wind turbines, so no technically it isn’t.” Diego gave him a look.

“You know all that, but you don’t know how to read a bloody map?”

“Not everyone is a natural boy scout.” With a little bit of a struggle, Diego unlocked the cabin and let Klaus go in first. To say that, Klaus was breath taken would be an understatement. He felt like he is high on the best drug ever. The cabin was perfect. He started to see why people would want to willingly stay here for 2 or so weeks. The first thing Klaus noticed was a huge fireplace, a cosy looking loveseat facing it, and a couple of matching ottomans on each side of the round glass coffee table. To Klaus’s right were a nice little kitchen with a stove, a small fridge, a sink, two cabinets, and a kitchen island with two bar stools. To his left were a closed door that he assumed is a bathroom, and in the up-right corner, on a bit higher level stood a king-sized bed with purple and white covers. That’s when he got nervous because Diego will lose it when he sees it. They haven’t shared a bed since they were 7 or so.

“You are sleeping on the loveseat.” Diego whispered in his ear and Klaus, used to people randomly popping up, didn’t even flinch.

“We’ll play for it. You can pick, we flip for the bed or we do rock, paper, scissors?” Diego shook his head.

“You made us go here, you suffer.”

“PICK A GAME!!!” Klaus growled and Diego sighed.

“We flip. Two wins.” Klaus rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Do you have any coins?” Klaus asked with a guilty face. “Coz, I don’t.”

“Then why the fuck would you eve offer to flip if you don’t have any coins on you!?” Klaus with a very leased smirk opened his palm where nickel was. “You are a sack of shit.”

“You always fall for that trick.” Diego couldn’t help but smile at that. “Heads or tales?”

“Tales!” Diego yelled enthusiastically and Klaus flipped the coin. It landed perfectly in his palm and a silver Thomas Jefferson was looking at them. “How can I know you are not cheating!?” Klaus rolled his eyes because this is also the recurring theme whenever they do something like that.

“Just because, I cheated once when we were like 15 or something…”

“No, that’s when you’ve got caught cheating, for all I know you are always cheating.”

“Then why’d you even agree on this!?”

“How about…” Diego looked around the cabin for something they could do.

“How about, for once in your life you admit the defeat?” Diego gave him the look like Klaus suggested they go back in time and kill mom.

“I will when I will lose in a fair fight and under the fair circumstances.”

“And according to you, that hadn’t happened yet.” Diego playfully smacked his hand causing the coin to fall on the floor.

“HA TALES!!!” Diego yelled when he saw a nice silver 5 is facing them. Klaus rolled his eyes and went to pick the nickel, but Diego was faster. “I will flip it when I will feel like it.” Klaus waved with his hands in defeat and decided to see what is behind the door that is between the “living room” and the “bedroom”. “Where are we going? We still have one round to go.” Klaus nodded, without actually paying any attention to him, as he tried to open the door, but it was locked. He turned around.

“The keys?”

“The locks? What exactly are we playing?!” Klaus rolled his eyes.

“The keys to the cabin, where did you put them?” Diego blushed a little before he took the keys out of his pocket. Klaus took them eagerly and unlocked the door. When he opened the door he nearly died.

“Diego…” He said in a low whisper as his eyes started watering. “Look at the view.”

“I have to say, it is almost worth the trouble of staying here.” Klaus smiled at that, because this, for now, is enough. Maybe those 5 days won’t be as bad as he thought after all. "And... I flipped the coin..." Klaus was about to protest because this is not fair play. "I hate Jefferson." Klaus started to laugh at that because only Diego could be that honest. "I actually considered lying, but you and your ghosts are not to be messed with."

"Damn right." Klaus said with a smirk while he kept his gaze on a beautiful sunbathed lake.


	12. Spine Status: Murdered by Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be aware this is my version of the Umbrella academy so don't get mad or something when stuff isn't according to the show or the comics. 
> 
> This is yet again, just a filler chapter. In the next one, our boys will do their tasks/challenges thus MORE KLIEGO after this one.
> 
> IN CASE I'VE MISSPELLED ANY NAMES OR ANYTHING I DO SINCERELY APOLOGISE. 
> 
> Special thanks to the person whose username is Diego for being a #1 fan.
> 
> Happy reading. 
> 
> Thank you for all your support
> 
> Much love  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I still believe, you leaving your shit in the middle of the so-called bedroom will make you trip, fall and possibly break something.” Diego pointed out for the millionth time, while they were walking towards the Hall Cabin. 

“Then, Ben will be the doctor and you will be the paranoid whatever.” Diego playfully smacked the back of his head, just as they approached Luther and Allison. 

“I see you are in a better mood.” Allison pointed out, and both, Diego and Klaus nodded. 

“How’s your cabin?” Luther opened his mouth, but Allison cut him off. 

“Good.” She simply replied as she glared at the space behind Klaus. “If they’ve done something, we would have known by now, right?” Klaus rolled his eyes at that comment. 

“I’m sure, they are fine. I bet Five is refusing to leave before he makes himself some coffee.”   
  


***AT THE CABIN 86*** 

“I bet you can’t jump as high as I can!” Five said with a smirk eying Vanya from the bed. Vanya who was sure this was a terrible idea, couldn’t resist it. They were never allowed to jump on beds when they were kids. She climbed on the bed with huge smile on her face. “Ready?” Five asked with his knees already bent. 

“Hold on. What if we break it?” 

“I’ll bring us back. Don’t worry.” She actually didn’t care if they break the bed, she just knew she had to act like an adult, but her childish side got better of her. 

“On three.” Vanya bent het knees. “One.” She could feel her adrenaline rushing in. “Two.” Five gave her a quick playful look. 

“THREE!” They yelled in union and started jumping on the bed. The bed creaked and shook heavily. Deep down they knew they will break it at any point. Vanya kept on jumping higher and Five was getting a bit frustrated by that, since he was sure he would be higher. He gathered all his strength and jumped as high as possible. And then the chaos happened. He jumped so high that he hit his head on the ceiling lamp. Vanya who was happily jumping up and down stopped dead on her tracks when she felt bed breaking and when she soon after saw Five is passed out. She kneeled on the bed and gently slapped him across the face. 

“Stop that. I’m conches, my head just hurts and I think one of the mattress springs is actually in my back.” Vanya sighed in relief. “I can’t move.” 

“Then teleport us.” 

“If I do that, the mattress is coming with us, and I don’t think we want that.” She nodded surprised by how calm they are about this whole situation. “Unhook me, and we will go.” She carefully dug her hands beneath him and gently pulled him upwards. He hissed in pain as he realized he actually broke his spine. “We have a problem.” Vanya hummed still holding him bridal style. “I’ve broken my spine. Or better say, the bed broke my spine.” 

“Why are you so calm?” 

“I could ask the same question.” Vanya opened then closed her mouth bot knowing where the sudden calmness is coming from. 

“I’ll teleport us to the academy.” 

“And then what?” 

“Not to the present academy.” Vanya slowly shook her head. “Yes. It’s the only way, I can get my spine fixed within seconds.” Vanya shook her head again. 

“If I can cause the apocalypse, I can heal you as well.” 

“One, that makes no sense, and two I am not going to be your practice dummy.” But, before he could protest, he stopped moving, due to the warm feeling in his entire spine, and the next thing he knows, Vanya placed him on his feet and he was as good as ever. 

“You could have done that at breakfast.” 

“What? And you are welcome by the way.” 

“When I’ve had to go through the bloody thing 5 times, because of their constant dying.” She blushed feeling guilty. “Anyways, take my hand. We are going back.” She nodded and did as she was told.

“Mind you, you’ll feel very, very weird because I am taking our minds, not our bodies.” She nodded. 

“Do it.” And with the blink of an eye, they were standing on the unbroken bed ready to start jumping.

“The whole thing was fun, up till the point of you breaking your spine.” Ben smiled and nodded. 

“How are you feeling?” She nodded and he hummed. “And, maybe we could repeat the whole thing, minus the hurting part, of course.” 

“Of course.” She said mockingly. 

“Like you don’t know, how competitive we can get. Basically, our whole childhood was one huge competition.” 

“The competition, I’ve lost without even getting a proper chance to participate.”   
  


***   
  


“You are late!” Allison spat out when Five and Vanya finally showed up at quarter to one. “We’ve said half-past twelve.” Vanya and Five shared a look before they started giggling. 

“The bed murdered me.” Five said making them laugh even harder. 

“Have you found one of Klaus’s stashes?” Diego asked concerned, glaring between Klaus and the two of them. 

“Forget that, they are here, no apocalypses were started… right?!” Diego asked in suspicion. 

“All is good, all is fine, no apocalypse just a fully working spine.” He looked at Vanya asking for approval but instead, she made a grimace. “Well…” I’ll have to work on that.” 

“Mind explaining?” Allison asked with her hands crossed on her chest while tapping with her foot.

“What happened to _You are late._ ” He said the last part in a mocking voice earning a nasty look from Luther.

“Be nicer to her.” Five flipped him off with a smirk. “I could have let the younger/older whatever version of you murder you back in the ’60s.” Luther growled in a threatening voice.

“And he would have if this idiot hasn’t thrown the fire extinguisher through the portal.”

“WE HAVE TO GO!!!” Klaus screamed at the top of his lungs, they all sighed but started walking towards the hall. Allison marched forwards first, clearly bothered with the fact that Vanya did something with Five and they refuse to say what it was. Luther tried cheering her up, while Five and Vanya kept on giggling. Diego and Klaus stayed a couple of steps behind.

“Any signs of Ben?” Diego whispered under his breath.

“He’s probably giving love eyes to George Michael.”

“What?”

“Yeah, yeah, long story short, some dude who sings some crappy Christmas song made Ben cream his panties.”

“One, I know who George Michael is, two Last Christmas is a gorgeous song and three disgusting way of saying he has a crush on George Michael.”

“I say cream his panties, you say he has a crush. Same shit different phrase.”

“KLAUS! Are you sure you remembered the time correctly? There is no one in here!” Allison yelled so loud that Klaus was sure, if there were any windows they would have shattered. They all walked into the empty huge wooden cabin. It has 4 very long wooden tables and matching benches. Opposite them, there is a stage with a podium, a couple of flags hanging around, but not a single soul in sight.

“The receptionist said to be here by 1 pm.”

“It’s 20 to 1 weird that there is no one here yet.” They all agreed with Vanya.

“Maybe we could sit down. Maybe the staff comes in 15 minutes earlier and they have forgotten to lock the cabin.” They sat at the table that was nearest to them. Allison was first, next to her Luther, then Five, Vanya, Diego and Klaus.


	13. Elbowing the Yeast Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie that yeast part cracks me up every single time. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all your support.  
> I hope you will like this one.
> 
> Much love
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That opening shit was so horrible that Diego actually dozed off in the middle of the owner’s “short” 45-minute speech. And Klaus kept elbowing him in his fucking ribs. By the end of that whole shenanigan, Diego was sure he has a cracked rib.

“I would like to ask our dear VIP guests to remain at their seats. The games will start in a few minutes.” 

“This gives me some serious Hunger Games vibes.” Diego mumbled earning a confused look from Klaus. “Are you actually serious?” 

“Is that like eat all you can thing?” 

“Yeah, Hunger Games is exactly like eat all you can.” 

“Look, try not to murder each other, okay?” Alison placed her hands on each of their shoulders and whispered.

“You can just rumor us.” Diego said in a teasing voice. Alison growled in anger and looked at Klaus with a smile. 

“Actually, I hope Klaus kills you.” And they were out of the cabin.

“We can take off, I bet they won’t even notice.” Klaus gave him an apologetic look. “Of course, you’ve just had to go see the owner.”

“It was either that or killing you. Figured, seeing the owner wouldn’t probably end up with me behind the bars.” They both glared around the cabin and noticed that quite a lot of people stayed behind. 

“40.” Diego mumbled in Klaus’s ear since there was a couple sitting next to Klaus. 

“Erm…100?” 

“What?” Klaus shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve counted 40 people. 40 retards who willingly paid for this.” Klaus made an “o” face. “What did you think I was talking about?” 

“Thought we are playing a game or something.” Diego shook his head in pure disbelief. “Should I introduce myself to them?” Klaus slowly nudged his head at the direction of that couple sitting next to them. The two women, by the looks of it, they were couple years younger than them. The one closest to Klaus was, even by Klaus’s standards breathtakingly beautiful, perfect face structure, small but not too small nose, plum firey red lips and gorgeous crimson red locks. He didn’t manage to get a good look at the other girl, since he didn’ t want to be a total creep.

“Cozy up to the enemy is what we are going with?” 

“What?”

“I might hate every single second of it, but this is still a competition.” Klaus gave him a look. “I plan to win that fucking trophy made out of sticks.” 

“I thought you were asleep.” 

“I would have been, but someone kept elbowing my poor ribs.” Klaus rolled his eyes mumbling Drama Queen. 

“Anyways, I’m saying hello.” With a smile, Klaus turned towards the couple. “Hi.” He said in an as polite way as possible. 

The first girl who was sitting right next to him made an unhuman growl, confusing Klaus, so he growled back. 

“What are you doing?” Diego and the other girl asked in unison.

“Saying hello?” 

“By growling?” They asked in unison again and now they shared a look. 

“She growled first, thought it was a thing. Like those furry people.”

“It’s furries, deepshit.” The red-haired snapped at him.

“Hostile much?” 

“I’m Andy. This is my girlfriend Mandy.” Diego tried not to laugh, he really did, but it was too much. 

“I’m Kla…” But he was cut off by Diego.

“Is there a Kandy too? Or…” Before he could continue with his snarly comment, Klaus elbowed him in his stomach. Diego winced in pain. 

“Excuse his asshole behavior.”

“One’s the idiot and other’s the asshole. Match made in hell.” Mandy, the growling one said.

“Which is which?” Andy grabbed Mandy’s hand and pulled her at the other end of the table.

“That went well.” Klaus mumbled.

“Stop elbowing me!” Diego hissed still in a bit of a pain.

“Stop being exceptionally stupid, and I will.”

“Do you have a kicking kink, honey? We’ve been together for years. Is that why I can’t make you hard? And you’ve said it was a medical condition.” Diego couldn’t help himself but tease, just as much as Klaus couldn’t help himself but elbow the air out of him.

“Prick.”

“Assface.” Klaus was about to elbow him again when he noticed Diego has his hand on something that looks like a knife.

“Where the hell have you…” Klaus decided against this and raised his hand in the air as a sign of giving up. “Great. I can rule out sleeping.” 

“Are you talking to Ben?” Diego asked in confusion.

“You are packing.” Diego nodded with a proud smile. “Are you planning to stab me?” Diego shook his head more annoyed than anything. 

“No sex in public places.” One of the workers who was currently cleaning the table hissed at them in pure horror. “I’ve nicely told them to put out that sign, but nooo. I was crazy Bob.” The guy mumbled to himself before he speed-walked away. Klaus and Diego shared a look and burst into laughter. 

“Can we begin?!” Some random dude asked and as a result, the microphone made a screeching noise.

“Sounds just like angry Alison.” Diego mumbled and Klaus laughed at that. 

“Sorry about that. Once again, we welcome you. In case some of you haven’t caught it, my name is Mike, and I and June will be hosting this year's games. We will begin with the game called Compliments to the Other Half. You and your partner will walk up here, you will introduce yourselves, maybe say couple words about yourselves, and then we will give you a keyword and you will have to compliment your partner based on the given word. To demonstrate this, I will ask June to come closer to me.” With sort of a sour smile, June walked to the lumberjack looking guy. He stepped away from the microphone.

“Hi. My name is June. I’m a pre-law student. And this is Mike, my boyfriend.” Her acting skills were terrible, it was clear the girl didn’t want to be here. 

“Hi, I’m Mike, I’m the owner’s son.” Mike even waved at the crowd. “June please read a word.” 

“Car.” 

“Honey, you are an exceptional driver. Every drive with you brings tears to my eyes, tears of joy.” Klaus and Diego shared a look because this could be taken in two different ways. 

“And you, Mike, you are like a sports car, fast, unpredictable, but very desirable and lovable.” Both Klaus and Diego growled at that because they will be forced to do that.

“You get the idea. We will go from the table to the right. We would like to ask for the lovely first couple to come up and join us.”

“We are last. I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“Just try not to embarrass us.” Klaus hissed at him as he actually wanted to hear what will people say. 

***

This was going faster than Diego liked it, because it meant they were closer and closer to going up. It wasn’t until Andy and Mandy were up that he really started panicking. Klaus placed his hands on his shoulders in hopes of calming him down.

“Everything’s gonna be fine. Just one lousy compliment.”

“I’m not good at fast thinking.” Klaus hummed and squeezed his shoulders. 

“It will be fine.” 

“Andy you are first. Your word is skin.” Andy looked at Mandy on the softest way Klaus has ever seen, not even Alison and Luther look each other that way. 

“Well, M, even though you think you look fat in skinnies, you are goddamn beautiful to me.” Andy gave June and Mike a look asking for approval and she’s got it. She proudly smiled and stepped away making room for Mandy.

“Your word is heart.” 

“Your heart is the size of a universe.” Everyone clapped like always as they walked off the stage. Klaus had to physically pull Diego up and drag him to the stage. 

“He has a huge stage fright.” Klaus said with half a smile when he noticed the looks on people’s faces. “I’m Klaus by the way. And we are sort of in the middle of getting a divorce.” Diego shot him a glare as he pushed him away from the microphone. 

“Hahahaha. He’s joking obviously.” Klaus gave him the look. “And I’m Diego.” 

“Okay…” Everyone could feel the sudden tension in the air. “Diego, your word is yeast.”

Diego gulped cursing whoever the fuck came up with that word. And then he started thinking, how would one compliment someone using the word yeast, you are hard to get rid of like the yeast infection isn’t exactly a compliment and sounds fucking disgusting. Even the word itself sounds disgusting. He looked around the room and saw a stack of cinnamon rolls, that’s when he remembered. “Just like yeast raises the dough, you are raising my spirits every time I look at you.” Then the awkward silence took place and Diego considered running away. 

“It was East as in East, West, North and South, you dumb half-deaf idiot.” Klaus hissed at him, not sure whether he should laugh, cry or be awed by that.

“Oh, right… Is it the east and Klaus is the sun.” Diego mumbled and quickly stepped away from the microphone. “I panicked okay?” He whispered to Klaus.

“Even if the word was incorrect, that yeast compliment was weirdly beautiful. Now, Klaus, would you like a try with the word East this time or do you want another one?” Glaring at Diego and with the thought in mind that people here don’t like them already, he decided to take another one.

“The word is snow.” Klaus nodded and started thinking. As he closed his eyes and focused on the word and Diego the train of thoughts just started.

“I love you because you remind me of snow. You can get dangerous and sometimes you are cold, but you are also beautiful and, just like the snow on Christmas, you bring joy and happiness to my life. Beneath my touch, I shiver and you melt, just like a snowflake.” The round of applause brought Klaus back from the trans and his eyes immediately fell on very shocked looking Diego. “You’ve said you wanted to win.” Klaus mumbled to him as he started walking off the stage. 

“This wasn’t even part of the competition. It was a warm-up.” Klaus stopped walking and turned around. Since Diego didn’t expect for Klaus to stop he managed to bump into his shoulder while Klaus was turning around.

“There’s just no way of pleasing you, isn’t it?” Diego opened than closed his mouth as he figured they are standing in the middle of the room, and there’s complete silence.

“Fuck.” Klaus gave him a confused look and then he noticed it too.

“Now what?” Diego shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, kiss.” Some random dude, who was sort of the closest to them, said to them.

“Not much of PDA fans.” Diego gestured between the two of them and before he could say anything else, Klaus dragged him back to their seats.


End file.
